Time and Space

 It was a bright June day when I started noticing a peculiar habit of Juliana's. Every morning after breakfast, she would run out the front door and sit in the front yard, seemingly doing nothing but staring at the grass. This day was maybe the fifth day in a row she had done it, and as I stood at the window I watched her peaceful, dainty hands stroke the blades of grass. 

The night before my observation, Juliana had lost her earrings for what seemed like the thousandth time. They were the second pair we had to buy her because she had lost the first. She had to use her small amount of allowance to pay for them, and when they went missing she was naturally devastated.  Tears rolled down her cheek as she searched everywhere for the tiny silver hoops that had just arrived the previous day. We asked for St. Anthony's help, but eventually decided it was time for bed before finding them.

The next morning, when Juliana decided to come in from her new morning grass staring ritual, I asked if she wanted to go check eggs with me. As I grasped her delicate hand in mine and stepped onto the back porch, I spotted her tiny earrings laying on the concrete! What a terribly strange place for earrings to be! Great excitement and relief came from Juliana as she quickly snatched them up and held them tightly in her hand. 

"You should thank God and St. Anthony for helping us find those!" I told her.

"I already did", she replied matter of factly.

Surprised, I inquired further. "You thanked them, just now, that quickly?" 

"No, I thanked them when I was in the front yard this morning saying my prayers."

I tried to bring clarity to the situation by asking her if she thanked God for helping before the earrings were found, and she replied that she had. She couldn't seem to understand what was strange about this. I tried to press further, my mind trying to grasp what was going on in my seven year old's spiritual life.  

"What else did you tell God when you were praying?"  

Juliana shrank back from me, her eyes lowered and her voice became quiet and shy, "I don't like to tell people what I pray. I think it's just supposed to be between me and God."

I respected her privacy and grabbed her hand to head towards the chicken coop. After about five paces, she stopped suddenly. "Mommy, I don't really pray to God. I more like talk to God and ask Him questions. I ask Him what He is like and how His ways are and then I try to hear what He says. I only really pray, like ask for things, at church."

I was obviously very shocked to hear my seven year old basically describe contemplative prayer in her own sweet way that day. 

In days since, I have thought a lot about our conversation. I have mostly thought about the gift that time and space is for little children (and maybe big ones too!). If Juliana had been hauled off on a school bus that morning, if she had had an ipad to grab or a daycare to get to, she wouldn't have had the space or the quiet to run into the front yard, stare at the grass and contemplate His ways. It has given me a renewed sense of gratitude for the gift of homeschooling. It renews my firm belief that staying home with your children to witness and be a part of these little moments is worth more than all the money  or earthly prestige in the world. 

Trust and Peace - A Much Needed Update

How has it been 11 months since I last posted? How have I not even mentioned here that this little one will join us in 6 weeeks?

Isn't he/she cute? I think so already. Look at that button nose. I sit here 34 weeks pregnant feeling sweet kicks all over my belly thinking about the year gone by. In February I went on a silent retreat where I felt God speak into my heart that it was time for another baby. And here I wait, with a swollen belly, ready for this little one to completely turn our world upside down. The word of the year has been "trust", and it has been tested for me over and over again. Trust that I would have a healthy pregnancy. Trust that I would find a good doctor and be at peace with delivering at a hospital. Trust in leaving our old homeschooling co-op to try something completely new. Trust that God would provide grace to become a better wife and a better mother. He never disappoints,  not even for a moment. Not only has there been abundant grace, but there has also been profound peace covering me like a warm winter blanket on a cold night.

The children are all amazing. They deserve to be written about every day, not once a year. Maybe the once a year writings will still mean something to them someday. Maybe it will help them understand just how much they are loved and cherished by this undeserving mother.

Peanut, you're not so much a peanut anymore. This year you turned 10. I had a mini breakdown over it. You who are my first born and my only son...how can you be 10? You are not only an amazing child, but an incredible person and friend. Your social skills continue to amaze me. You can hold a conversation with a group of adults and make them all laugh with your great sense of humor. You are incredibly intelligent. You retain almost everything you read and can spit out facts about history and things of the world much more readily than I can. This year you became an altar server and there has only been a few Sundays where you didn't serve. You love it. One Sunday, we went to the Latin Mass parish and you cried because you wouldn't be able to serve. You work so hard to serve well and I'm so proud of you every time I see you on the altar. You are an amazing son; always quick to help me. If you see me upset or stressed you naturally come give me a big hug to try and make me feel better. You are a wonderful brother and your sisters all love playing with you. I hope you realize someday how much they look up to you.

Miss Belle, I don't even know how to put into words how much you have changed this year. You are a deep thinker and always striving to be and do better. You are constantly helping me around the house, not because I asked, but because you have the heart of a servant. You will probably never know how much this means to me and helps me until you are a mom yourself, but for now, know that I'm abundantly thankful for it. You love to have a to-do list and to plan and write things. You have the work ethic that many adults still lack. I'm amazed every day to watch you pull out your school on your own and complete tasks without being asked. You love to go to social things and be with friends. This year you struggled with a small attitude problem and I've never seen an eight year old tackle a problem with so much dedication and hard work as you did. At 8 years old you were able to pray about it, talk about it and not let yourself be ruled by your emotions. You taught yourself to change how you acted or what you said, even though you felt like doing something else. It's been incredible and inspiring to watch. I'm so proud of you and proud that you are my daughter.

Jules, you are 5 now and as sweet as ever. You are still a sensitive soul and think big deep thoughts for someone your age. You are so kind to everyone you meet and will often put yourself aside to make someone else happy. You love to give hugs and kisses and tell mommy and daddy how much you love them. I hope you never get tired of that. This is your first year homeschooling and you are doing amazing. You are eager to be doing "big kid" things and often get frustrated with yourself if you can't do something perfectly the first time. You don't like me to help you very much, but like to be independent when you work. Sometimes I call you Snow White because you have such a way with nature. One day you spent two hours catching butterflies in a jar, looking at them and releasing them. I've never seen so many different butterflies caught in one day. You catch other bugs and things all the time, only to be amazed by God's creation and then let it go again. I love watching you grow and hearing all the deep thoughts that flow through your mind. Thank you for loving so unreservedly and with everything you are.

Sarah Cat, I'm mourning the loss of you as the baby. For so long now, you have been the littlest and that's all about to change. You would probably be mad if you knew I called you little, because you are sure you are very big. You have social skills like Peanut, the will of Miss Belle and the sensitive heart of Jules. You never seem to meet a stranger and everyone loves you. You can say something so matter of fact and confidently, but when gently corrected you ball your eyes out as if the world crashed down on you. It's truly fascinating to observe. You are such a light to this family. Peanut and Miss Belle will still hold you like you are 2 and Jules is always trying to get you to play "mom" wherein you are the baby. You are so well loved and such a blessing to this family.

Now is the part where I would normally promise to write more, be more, and try more. But after skimming this blog in all it's years here, I realize that every time I write, it's completely worth it whether it's been a year or a day. Sometimes I let the fact that I haven't written in so long, actually keep me from writing (as weird as that sounds). So, I promise to write when I can and find peace in that.

The Things They Say (14)

From the backseat of the car:
#1: "#3 what do you think marriage is all about anyways?"
#3: "Well we kiss on the lips a lot, then I put a ring on him and he puts a ring on me and then...well...what do I need to ask my husband to do?"


A neighborhood boy was interrogating #1 about homeschooling and meanly stated, "Your mom is no better than my teacher!" #1 replied, "Well then your teacher must be pretty great!"


#3: I'm not even going to say the 'S' word! Because I don't know the 'S' word.


#1 Pointing to where his back hurt: "Well...I was shot right there with an air soft gun. Except it was a little higher up and on the other side..."

Jules Bug Turns 4

A few weeks ago you turned 4. I am amazed every day at the little sweetness of your soul. You no longer fit in with the babies; you are definitely a "big girl" now. You follow #1 and #2 down to the woods all the time and try and do everything they are doing. When we homeschool, you sit there with a little book and "write" and complain that "this is sooo hard!" When I sit and read with you (which you would do ALL day if I could) your little mind and imagination open up and you are so quick to observe things and learn all you can. Even at this young age I can see that you will have a tendency towards perfectionism. Sometimes you will draw a beautiful picture, but when I tell you how beautiful it is, you will point out a mistake you made that really bothers you. While perfectionism may be a hardship in things like drawing and school, I'm sure it will help you, in some way, become the woman God has created you to be.

You love St. Therese and Mary are constantly offering "little sacrifices". You shock your father and I with your natural tendencies towards God and the greater good. If there is a toy you want that Sarah wants also, you will say, "I guess I'll make a little sacrifice" and let Sarah play with the toy. You often make little sacrifices for your older siblings too. When we pass graveyards you always say we need to pray and sometimes you randomly want to pray for things that "pop" into your head. The random things you tell me sometimes about God and the things you think about are humbling and amazing. One day in mass you leaned over and said, "Mommy, God is everything and we are nothing. That is what I always think about." Another time you told me, "Mommy, all God wants is for us to love him a lot, pray and make little sacrifices. I know that because He taught me that." Saying things like this and thinking about these things comes so naturally for you and I hope that never stops.

You are still the sweet and quiet calmness of this family. While you don't just sit back and take being bullied by the older children, you are much calmer and less easily upset than anyone in the family. We could all learn a lot from you. You are extremely sensitive and can easily cry if I even speak a harsh word to you. You still love to climb up on my lap and cuddle. I hope that doesn't stop anytime soon.

Jules, you bring so much joy to this family it is hard to put into words. I thank God everyday that you are here. I am so blessed and unworthy to be your mother and I'm sorry for all the times I have failed you. My prayer for you is that you always stay as close to Jesus as you are now. I pray that the world doesn't steel your sweet, sensitive spirit and that you grow to be a Godly woman. Thank you for teaching ME how to love Jesus each and everyday. I love you sweet daughter.

Love,
Mommy

Little Jules Turns 3

Dear Jules,
This week you turned three years old! I can't believe how fast the time has gone and how you steal the hearts of everyone around you. You may be the most naturally sweet child there is. These days you love to do anything your bigger siblings are doing. You follow them around everywhere and get extremely hurt if they won't let you play. You are not quick to join in with big crowds but love to play one on one with other kids. You have the best manners and I don't even remember teaching you them. You are constantly saying "Sank you mommy!" even when I do the simplest things for you. If you have done something wrong, a harsh no can break you in to tears. Whenever you get in trouble you run in to my arms, hug me and say "fourry mommy!" It's the cutest thing! Your heart is so sensitive and I hope it always stays that way.

Playing doctor. Of course, they made you the patient. 

Which you were totally fine with.

For your 3 year old birthday, Grandma came to visit and you were so sad to see her leave. You sent your paci with her to give to your baby cousin. We had talked a lot about how big you were and that it was time to give up your paci, but when it came to it, you did it all on your own. The other day you told me you were going to marry the baby Jesus when you grow up and help "mama Mary". It made my heart happy. You love to play "mommy" with Belle, which basically just means she gets to boss you around. Both of you love this game. I wish I could put in writing the way you say your name, but writing it down wouldn't due it's cuteness justice.

You bring so much joy and peace to this family. Your calm presence is just what we needed and God knew it. You remind me daily to slow down and enjoy the little things, and I am forever grateful for it. Almost daily, you crawl up on my lap and say, "I wike you mommy!" and give me a huge kiss and hug and then run off. Your love and sweetness is beyond sincere. I wish I could keep you little, but I know you have to grow up. My prayer for you is that you remain as sweet, innocent and sincere as you are now, and that you continue to love without reserve. I love you my little Jules and am beyond honored to be your mommy.

Jules Turns 2

I didn't get to sing happy birthday to you on your 2nd birthday. There was no cake or special dinner or guests. I lay in bed that day, 3 days out of the hospital from my brain clot and cried because you deserved so much more than I could give you that day. You toddled in and out of my room several times that day with a huge Tweetie Bird balloon in your hand that MiMi had bought for you on your special day. You climbed up on my bed hesitantly and hugged and kissed me. You weren't used to seeing your mom like this, and I could tell it almost scared you in a way. With eyes full of tears, I told you Happy Birthday and exclaimed how much I loved you.

Jules, you have the sweetest and most sensitive heart. When you get hurt you need a hug from someone. If you can't find an adult to hug you run to #1 or #2 and hold on to your brother or sister for comfort. You dry your tears with the bottom of your shirt, as if you are trying to be bigger than you really are. These days you walk around trying to do everything your siblings do. You don't realize that most of the time you aren't actually playing with them. You are perfectly content running ten steps behind them, trying to be a part of it all with a huge smile on your face. You have not shown one drop of jealousy towards #4. You constantly want to hug, kiss and hold her. Hopefully someday you two will be not only sisters, but great friends.

Your tiny feet pitter patter around the house in the cutest way. It is a noise that brings a smile to everyone's face, every time we hear it. I wish I could lock that sound away in a box and open it every time I'm having a bad day or want to remember you this small, because I know the days are coming way too soon where that pitter patter will stop.

You love the people close to you with all your heart and say so by exclaiming, "ov ooo too!" when someone says they love you. Your language grows everyday and it's so amazing getting to know you more and more. You love to sing and dance and try your hardest to keep up with the choir at mass. When a song starts, you open the hymnal and "sing" and then close it promptly when the song is over.

You bring so much joy, light and laughter to this family. We all adore and love you so much. Next year, God willing, I promise you the cake, candles and singing you deserve on your birthday. I love you Jules bug, and am blessed beyond measure to be your mom.

1...Already!

Wasn't she just born yesterday? 

This birthday has brought the emotions of that day flooding back into my mind. Her birth continues to amaze me, and I continue to process it even a year later. Jules is a sweet, calm little bundle of joy who already gives her heart and love without reserve. Her smile lights up a room and can turn a bad mood around in a flash. She loves her siblings and tries to keep up with them. She has been our earliest walker (10months) and is now practically running. She never really complains unless she REALLY needs something, and just goes about her day perfectly content. The only sadness in this day is that the one other person that was there for her birth will not celebrate her 1st birthday with us this evening. That seems very strange to me and it makes me miss my husband even more, but it is what it is. Surely, when he arrives home she will great him with that huge smile and flying wave like she always has in the past.

Jules, you are pure joy. You bring a peace and calmness to this family that is so needed and I can't imagine life without you. I don't deserve to be your mother and I only hope that I can raise you the way God intended you to be raised. My wish for you, even in your young age, is that Christ is always at the center of your heart and the reason for all you do. I love you my daughter and can't wait to watch you grow.

Love,
Mommy

Life As We Know It...

...is of course completely changed forever. This post itself is brought to you by my holding sweet #3 on my lap while the other two take a VERY RARE nap. The only reason they are napping today is because we let them stay up till 10pm (that's right bad mama), so they could "camp" with their dad in the den last night.

Baby Jules is a sweet little thing. She hardly fusses and is the easiest baby so far. Jules' crazy birth fits nothing with her calm personality. So what if I have had to give up milk, eggs and wheat in my diet to keep her happy. It's all worth the no cry time we have had with her. I still contest that having your first baby is the hardest. The not knowing what to do and everything being so new almost killed me with Peanut. And while my postpartum period with Jules wasn't the easiest, I knew how to handle her cries and my tears and knew that in a couple of weeks things would start to feel like a new normal. I think we have reached our new normal and I'm in love with it.

Miss Belle turned 3 on Monday. 3! She is as strong willed and sweet as ever. She is always wanting to follow me everywhere and "help" with whatever I'm doing. She loves the new baby and called her "my baby" for quite some times. She does have a lot of difficulty with spacial skills and is always wanting to be in Jules' face. There is no ill intent in it though.  Anything she does, whether it's helping in the kitchen, playing with her brother, kissing the baby or just plain loving you, she does it with every ounce of her being. I love this about her. She cannot be forced into anything and likes to discover the world mostly on her own. She loves her brother and will do almost anything he asked. They would get along a whole lot better if they both didn't want to be the boss all the time. I am so excited to see who Miss Belle will become because I am already so excited about who she is today. She is a great light in this world of darkness and I feel that if Max and I do our jobs right, her strong and sweet personality could bring many people to Christ. That is my dream for her; that all her will and strength and being be directed towards God. Miss Belle didn't need an exciting crazy breech birth because she will have an exciting crazy life that I love to watch unfold. Happy Birthday sweet daughter! You are my light and my joy. We love you!

The Birth of Baby Jules

Disclaimer: This is a birth story with all the details. If birth grosses you out, you should probably not read any further.

It was 10:00pm on Thursday February 7th, and Max and I had just finished an episode of Downton Abbey. I had been having some strong braxton-hicks that day, but they were the kind that I thought would surely go away when I went to bed, as they had every other night in the past. I told Max I wanted to go to bed, and as we got ready I started to have some more serious, painful contractions. Max finally caught on and asked, "Are you in labor?" I replied, "Maybe. But probably not. Let's just try and sleep and I'll wake you if I need you."

I laid in bed till about 10:45 before I finally decided these contractions weren't going away and I needed to get up and walk and eat. I got up and went to the kitchen to eat (I was really hungry) and paused and moaned through each contraction. A few minutes later Max heard me moving the couch back in place (we move our couch to our computer to watch movies, it bugged me that it was out of place), and came to check on me. I told him that I was really in labor but he should try and go back to sleep in case we were in for the long haul.

It was around midnight that Max decided we should call our midwife. He told her I was definitely in labor, but that she could wait to come as contractions had only started two hours ago. Meanwhile, my water had broken and contractions were coming stronger. I was thinking to myself how intense the contractions were and how, "maybe I'm just more of a weanie this time than I was with Miss Belle." All this time, Max is trying frantically to set up the birth pool. After breaking our bathroom sink I finally told him that I just wanted him near me and to forget about the pool.

In between each contraction I prayed to Our Lady of Happy Delivery and asked Jesus to be with us. I asked that above all the baby would be safe. In my heart, I knew everything was ok and this was the safest way to deliver the baby. This is a great grace God gave me during labor, because looking back I really could have had a lot of fear about the unknown position of our baby. I also feel it was a great grace that I didn't know she was a footling breech, as I think I may have been more anxious about delivering our baby in this very uncommon position. As I continued to labor in our bathroom, I started to have the urge to push. I told Max that he needed to call our midwife NOW! I tried my hardest to breath through these contractions without pushing, until I couldn't any longer. All the research I had done about breech births said hands and knees was the best way to push and that breech babies should not be touched during delivery. If you touch their little bottoms, it startles them, causing them to throw their arms up thus making it more difficult for the head to come. I knew I should get on my hands and knees, but it was also what my body instinctively told me to do. As the next contraction came I tried my hardest not to push, but just couldn't. I was asking Max the whole time, "Where is our midwife?" thinking I could just hold this baby in till she got there. I told him I was scared and he assured me it would be ok. I was not scared of delivering the baby, I was scared I wouldn't be able to stop pushing until the midwife arrived.

I finally gave into the reality that I couldn't not push and told Max the baby is coming. He was on the phone with my midwife and got behind me to see what was going on. Apparently at this point one of Baby Jules' foot was already out, although I had no idea. With the next two contractions I pushed her to the point where her little butt and legs were hanging from my body but her head and arms were still inside. I told Max not to touch her and he promised he wouldn't. I was so anxious to have her out at this point that I tried to push with no contraction and yelled, "she isn't coming!" As she was hanging there, I could feel her moving her little head and arms still inside me. This is the number one weirdest thing I have ever felt in my life. From the research I had done, I knew that this was common for breech babies. They do a little sit up type action to position their head correctly for birth. A truly amazing instinct! Once I finally realized that the reason she "wasn't coming" was because I wasn't having a contraction, I was able to take a few deep breaths and wait for the next one. As the next contraction started, I pushed with all my might, and out came our little girl into her father's hands.

I told Max to give her to me, and we immediately started rubbing her back and talking to her (she didn't cry right away, but when I looked down at her wide eyes, I knew she was ok). Within seconds she was breathing fine and making those tiny newborn cries. Max hung up with the midwife and we sat there in awe for a few minutes staring at her beauty. After a minute or so, I checked to see what we had and was pretty shocked to see that it was a girl! I think we checked three different times to make sure. So there we were, just the three of us and God, sitting on our bathroom floor admiring the new life that was in our arms.

Our midwife showed up about ten minutes later and found everyone to be perfectly healthy.

Through The Fire

This is the birth story of my third child and beautiful daughter. The story really begins far before her birth and I feel that it is important and an intricate part of it. I want to write it down to remember the spiritual journey of this pregnancy and to remember the abundant graces given to my family and me during this time.

This pregnancy tested me to limits I had never been brought to before. First with physical suffering, then with mental. I have already described some of the pelvic issues I had during pregnancy that almost made me lose my ability to walk. I cried out to God in desperation asking him why he would want a mother of two very active children to go through this. I was brought to my knees and to tears daily at having to depend on my husband and those around me for almost everything. And then answers came, through a small book that no one even knows exist. Through weeks of exercise I was nearly pain free and I knew it was nothing short of a miracle that I thanked God every day for.

Fast forward to 32 weeks into the pregnancy. I went to my midwife appointment and what I knew all along was confirmed. The baby was breech. For some this seems to be no big deal, but for me it was. Peanut was also breech and he never turned head down before they took him by c-section at 38 weeks. The memory of that experience came flashing into my head daily as I knew the routine way for breech babies to be delivered these days is by c-section. For those of you who may read this and don't know me very well, a c-section is not a small deal to me and I really only think they are necessary if the mother's or baby's life is in true danger.

For 6 weeks I spent much of the day trying to get the baby to turn head down. I hung upside down on my head, took homeopathic remedies, went swimming and did a headstand in the pool, spent an outrageous amount of money on chiropractic care and acupuncture and still the baby would not turn. Through the weeks I researched constantly about breech birth and finally made the decision that I wouldn't go in for a c-section unless something was wrong with me or the baby (that is what hospitals are for, after all). Before I continue, I think I should note that this decision wasn't made lightly. Every day I questioned it and felt Satan tempting me with doubt. I prayed constantly for peace and fought for it every day. Every time the baby moved I wondered if she was turning, only to find out that I could still feel her little head up in my ribs. I cried out to God telling him that this was His child and His birth and if a c-section was necessary I would do it. But I told Him that my children needed their mother and that was a lot harder to be after a major surgery.

This constant daily mental agony was filled with moments of peace only to be shattered again by thoughts of what could go wrong. I prayed novena after novena and cried out to God asking Him why he didn't just turn her!  I am certain the only thing that kept me sane was the constant prayers I knew so so many people were praying for me. Often times when I was at the end of my ropes I heard God whisper in my heart, "I will take care of you". I didn't know at the time what that exactly meant, but I trusted in it.

On one particularly hard day, I thought that looking through my ultrasound pictures might bring me some comfort. Somehow, through the midst of suffering, I sometimes forgot that an actual baby comes at the end of all of this, and needed a small reminder of who was kicking around inside me. But that day, I wasn't even granted that comfort. I could not find the pictures anywhere. A few days later my sister invited me to adoration and I took her up on the offer. I grabbed a random book from my end table and set off for a much needed holy hour. That evening before the blessed Sacrament I told God that I laid it all on his altar. That I knew this wasn't the end of the hard days but whatever happened belonged to Him and I would trust Him for answers. That until I felt my instincts and His urgings tell me otherwise, I would continue forward with the plans for a breech vaginal delivery. As I sat down after my prayer and opened my book to read, I found my sweet ultrasound pictures laying within the pages. I couldn't help but cry at the physical sign that God had given me letting me know that everything would be ok.

Fast forward to 38 weeks pregnancy. As I was driving Peanut to pre-school I was pondering all that had happened during this pregnancy. I knew I would see my midwife that evening and was a bit nervous and relieved. I also knew it was the last day of a novena a dear friend had been saying for me to St. Giana. My friend had promised that the baby would either turn that day, or that I would be at peace about everything (she also said the angels told her she was praying for a baby girl but I didn't believe her). And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I pray often to be a Godly woman. I say all the time, "Lord, mold me into the woman you want me to be. Purify my soul. Transform my heart. Help me be patient. Teach me to love." I pray all these things, and while I truly mean them, it didn't register till that day that through all of this suffering God was purifying my soul. He was answering my prayers. Did I really forget that often times we have to be purified through fire? Did I think it would be easy? Marriage and motherhood are my vocation and God will sanctify my soul through them if I let Him work. I felt great peace the rest of the day. Even when my midwife told me the baby was still breech. And that brings us to the evening of Thursday February 7. Stayed tuned for part 2.

Big News!

Yes, I'm alive despite the scarce blogging these days. I figured it is due time to announce that after what seemed like a long wait...

BABY NUMBER 3 IS IN THE OVEN! Due to arrive mid February 2013!

We couldn't be more excited. Your prayers for a healthy pregnancy and birth would be greatly appreciated.

Peanut is sure it's a boy and wants to name him David Goliath. Bipolar at it's finest. Miss Belle is sure it's a girl and wants to name her something that I don't understand in her two year old language. Somehow my husband has convinced me to wait and find out the sex of this baby until birth day. (There were some serious negotiations involved), so we shall see! Thanks for the prayers!