YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

After 10 months of work and some very long nights, I am officially a certified doula through DONA International!!! YAY!!! Happy happy day! Thank you to all the mommies who gave me the privilege of attending their births! The most thanks goes to my husband. Without his UNFAILING support, I would never have been able to do this. There have been many times he has taken off work and stayed with the children for over 24 hours while I am at a birth. He has never once complained and is always so encouraging and supportive. Thank you honey!

Andrea CD(DONA)

Why It Matters

I had a friend from high school share her birth story with me tonight. It was nothing less than traumatic. Although she probably doesn't know this yet, it is the typical c-section birth story. Mom's not progressing fast enough, epidural not working, labor taking too long, mom freaking out so baby stresses and you need a c-section.

A lot of people would look at a birth story like this (and there are many like this) and say, "Oh well? Mom and baby are healthy, and my gosh! At least they got the baby out before something bad happened. It doesn't matter how the baby got here as long as it is healthy". While I'm all for healthy babies, IT DOES MATTER HOW THE BABY GOT HERE! For the rest of her life this mom will look back on the day her son was born as the most traumatic, overwhelming, lonely and helpless experience of her life. All because someone wasn't there to tell her it's ok and that she was strong enough and capable of  birthing her own son. All because doctors want mom in bed on her back because it is convenient for them, but not the best position for the baby or mother. Or maybe they just don't know the right positions, which I'm not sure is any better.

A woman will remember the day her child was born forever. It's a memory that needs to be protected not thrown away like she is just another patient. The family unit, specifically during labor, needs to be protected, respected and cherished. A couple (more specifically the mother) will either come away from birth feeling empowered, taken care of and at peace or feeling out of control and forgotten.  There are a lot of women walking around today feeling like the day they gave birth was the day they lost all control of their body and handed it over to a sharp knife on an operating table. And the majority is because of lazy practices and a misunderstanding of the birthing process.

It was reaffirmed to me tonight why I am becoming a doula. Women deserve a better birth story than my friend's. A baby's birth day should be the best day of the mother's lives, in every way. Hopefully, through education, doulas and competent midwives, we can begin to heal the broken labor practices in this country. And through this, heal the women who have fallen victim to them.

Becoming a Doula: A Catholic Birth Story

As some of you know, I have started the (long) process of becoming a certified doula. At my last birth, I had the amazing opportunity to help a good Catholic friend and her husband through childbirth. Regardless of her pitocin induction, this mother did an amazing job looking to Christ for strength in labor and was able to birth her son without the use of any pain medicine. "As Catholic mothers, we cannot embrace motherhood while rejecting the process which makes us mothers; we cannot appreciate our vocation while resenting the mysterious time when our child resides tranquilly in our womb and while fearing that joyful moment when the child emerges from our womb and is first welcomed into our arms" (From Your Vocation of Love pg. 115).

These are birth notes from the eyes of the Doula:

It is May 18, 2011 and you are scheduled for an induction at Mercy Medical Center. I arrive at your house at 6:50am to find you hurriedly trying to do the last bits of laundry before going to the hospital. Your children are so excited that their baby brother is coming, and sister speaks of how big of a help she is going to be.  We arrive at the hospital at 7:20am and meet your kind nurse. As we check into the room, your children dance around with excitement as they look out the window and discover the hospital room where their baby brother will be born. At 8:15am you are checked and found to be 3-4cm and 50% effaced. At 8:20am your Pitocin is started while Dad takes the children to eat breakfast in the cafeteria. When they return from breakfast, you and Dad decide it is time to take them to the sitters house. They all kiss you goodbye and shout, “Goodbye mommy” as they exit the door.

At around 9:15am your doctor arrives to greet you with his enthusiastic smile. He decides to break your bag of waters to try and get labor moving.  Soon after, Dad returns and finds us chatting up a storm. He suggests we read the daily mass readings. As we wait for contractions to pick up, you suggest praying a rosary for a safe delivery. Dad leads us all in the rosary as we contemplate the glorious mysteries. This moment was so special to watch a couple pray so devoutly to the Mother of us all for your sweet baby boy.

At 11:15am you are checked and still found to be 3-4cm and about 50% effaced. We decide it is time to get you out of bed and moving to get baby to come down the birth canal. For the next hour we move around trying various positions. You slow dance with Dad, sit backwards on the bed, and lean over the edge of the bed during contractions. We can all tell that the contractions are getting more effective and stronger. Dad looks at you with a loving smile and tells you how great of a job you are doing. You continually ask him, “Am I still here?” and he smiles and says, “You’re still here!”  In these words you find strength to go on.

At 12:30pm you mention feeling pressure and are checked to be 6-7cm and 80% effaced. You are so happy that progress is being made! We continue moving into different positions and at 1:05pm you are checked again and found to be 8cm and 100% effaced. You are focusing through each contraction with such peace and strength that you surprise us all! Contractions begin to really pick up and you mention how badly you want baby  here. You whisper to him in between contractions, “Come on baby. It’s time to come out.”  As contractions get harder, you ask for a prayer from your bag. You silently pray a prayer for strength to our Blessed Mother and are immediately uplifted and determined to continue on. In your hand is a small wooden cross that you grip with each contraction, remembering the true meaning of labor and the sacrifice of motherhood. What an honor and blessing to witness the strength found in Christ during your labor. It was truly breathtaking.

At 1:15pm you say that you need to push and your doctor is called in. You are set up in bed with Dad at your head, holding your hand and encouraging you during pushing. At 1:26pm your baby boy comes slipping out of your body and everyone in the room exclaims in unison, “HE’S BEAUTIFUL!”  Baby  is so pink and handsome and is quickly placed on your chest where he is perfectly and wonderfully content to be in your arms. Dad is so incredibly proud of you and tells every person he talks to how wonderfully you did with no pain medication throughout labor. 

This birth was filled with so much love, strength and an incredible amount of grace. You did AMAZING! Please know that this is only my perspective on the birth, and Baby’s true birth story belongs to you.  This birth has taught me so much of the power of prayer in childbirth, and it is a day I will remember for the rest of my life. I feel very honored and blessed to have been a part of something so sacred. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.