Wanted to take the kids for a walk today. Just a short simple walk. Fed Peanut so he wouldn't be hungry half-way through. Put shoes on both kids. Couldn't find my shoes. Spent 30 minutes looking for shoes. Settled on a different pair. Found the pair I wanted on the way out the door. Switched shoes. Baby pooped. Changed diaper. Peanut poops. Change another diaper. Load kids in stroller. Go to get dog and realize he doesn't have a collar on. Forget where I put collar. Spend 10 minutes looking for collar. Put dog on leash and head down the driveway. Roll my ankle and go sliding down driveway on knee (in new pants, by the way). Make sure neighbor didn't see. He did. Go back up driveway so he doesn't see me start to cry. Lose all pride I ever had. Tell myself I was too far to turn around now. Walk around the block limping half the way checking on my bloody knee every five minutes. See why I don't exercise?
If the spiritual life is filled with peaks and valleys, I am definitely in a valley. My prayer life is completely dry, and I am lucky if I remember to say my daily offering. Every night I kneel at my bed to say my usual night time prayers and think, "I hardly thought of you at all today, Lord. How easily I forget about you these days." I know we all have valley's, but I don't like them. I don't like them at all.
Last weekend we needed to attend the Saturday evening vigil mass, because we were helping with a pro-life university outreach all day on Sunday. I really don't like theSaturday vigil mass. In my experience, most people attend it with the attitude of "getting church over with" and come in with shorts and a Hawaiian shirt on at best. I was a little miffed at having to attend this mass, and even more miffed we had to attend a church I didn't particularly care for with a priest who reads canned homilies from the pulpit. Then my friend's words came to my mind. I remember him telling me, "pray to the Holy Spirit that He will give you some nugget of wisdom, no matter how superfluous the homily may be." So I did.
I asked the Holy Spirit for a nugget, and that's just what I got. Nothing more and nothing less. The kids were restless during mass and so was my mind. Just as the priest was wrapping up the homily I realized I had heard almost none of it and made one last attempt to listen. And then I heard this:
"And so you think of Him, but you do not follow Him."
Nugget. That short little sentence explains my valley. I think often of what I should be doing. I think of ways I should be living and think of prayers I should be praying. But I am not following. I am not doing, which is what following is all about. Following Christ demands action. Action that I am often to scared and down right lazy to take. But if I, a Christian woman, do not follow, do not act, who will? I am the salt of the earth. We are the salt of the earth. And it's time for action.
I am a Catholic wife and mother of four, striving to grow holier by the day. I have a son and three daughters and am currently homeschooling the oldest two. I am a doula and have a special passion for all things birth related. This blog is my life and thoughts escaping from my head to the computer screen. So pull up a chair and come along for the ride!