The Things They Say (14)

From the backseat of the car:
#1: "#3 what do you think marriage is all about anyways?"
#3: "Well we kiss on the lips a lot, then I put a ring on him and he puts a ring on me and then...well...what do I need to ask my husband to do?"


A neighborhood boy was interrogating #1 about homeschooling and meanly stated, "Your mom is no better than my teacher!" #1 replied, "Well then your teacher must be pretty great!"


#3: I'm not even going to say the 'S' word! Because I don't know the 'S' word.


#1 Pointing to where his back hurt: "Well...I was shot right there with an air soft gun. Except it was a little higher up and on the other side..."

The Things They Say (13)

I made my children a very special chocolate waffle breakfast one morning and #1 was staring at how #3 was only eating the whipped cream and strawberries off the top and not the entire waffle. Very firmly he says to her:

"#3, you love those waffles with the wrong kind of love. You only love them for their whipped cream and not for the entire waffle as a whole!"

I didn't know all the stuff we have been telling him about love, purity and the world was actually sinking in, but if you can relate spiritual teachings to your breakfast, I guess that means it is...

My older two forgot to brush their teeth before leaving for co-op while my 3 year old remembered to brush hers. I was teasing the older two about this and said, "Everyone is going to run away from you guys when they smell your dinosaur breath!" Without a second passing #1 says, "Well, at least we still have our good looks!" This kid's humor is the best!
#2 running in from outside: "Mom, I know how to play volleyball! I'm really good!"
Me: "Yay! Now I have someone to play with!"

#2: "Ok! I'm going to go back outside and keep practicing my kick!"

Today I was telling #1 how the real tale of Little Red Riding Hood Ends, "In the real tale, Little Red Riding Hood gets eaten and nobody saves her. It was a tale to teach children not to talk to strangers." 
#1: "Moral of the story is, 'Don't talk to strangers. They may be cannibals!'" 

The Things They Say (12)

I haven't done one of these in a while, but don't think that means my kids stopped talking!


Quite a while ago: #2: "You should not ever say 'Oh my God'"
#1 "Yes! That is one of the Ten Commandments, 'You shall not use the Lord's name in Spain!"

We were watching Full House and one of the children acted very bratty. I asked #1 what he thinks would happen if he acted like that and he responds, "Oh! I would feel so guilty I would spank myself!"

On the way to Sunday school driving in my workout clothes (tank top and shorts)
#1: "Uh...Mom, are you really going to take us in to Sunday school wearing that?"
Me: "No, honey. I'm just dropping you off at the door. Would it embarrass you if I wore this inside?"
#1: "Well, you see, it's a bit immodest. (long pause) I wouldn't really be embarrassed but you should be!"

#1: "Hey Mom!" You know that game we play at Chuck E Cheese...Sky Golf?!"
Me: Thiniking..."Do you mean Air Hockey?"
#1: "Yeah, that's it!"

#3 (3 years old) coming up to Max holding a box of bullets: "Daddy?! Why do you have these tiny little crayons? How do you draw with these?"

The Things They Say (10)

Peanut is learning to spell and is constantly sounding things out. He often asks how to spell letters (how do you spell the letter 'L') and I always explain that letters are what we use to spell and they cannot be spelled themselves. One day while riding in the car, Peanut was thinking very hard and said, "Mommy, I know you are lying about not being able to spell letters. I know what the letter 'S' starts with. It starts with an 'E'"

Every morning Max and I say a prayer that mentions keeping a chaste and pure heart. One morning after reciting it, Peanut exclaims, "YEAH! Let's pray that Daddy gets chased by really holy saints!"

Peanut: "Mom? Heaven is like a party for a bunch of dead people, right?!" Yeah, sure kid.

Going to drop food off for a new mommy I was explaining to the kids how they couldn't go into the house because new mommies need lots of rest.
Peanut: "Well, maybe Miss Rachel isn't like you"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Peanut: "Well, maybe when her husband wakes her up she says, HI HONEY!!!!"
Me: "Well, what does your mommy do?"
Peanut: "You're more like, 'I'm sooooo tired!!!!!'"

Kids don't miss a beat...

The Things They Say (9)

This one is short, but I had to write it down before I forgot. The other day Peanut was in a world of his own singing his favorite Christmas song "Hark the Herald Angels Sing". I was listening to his cute voice get louder as the song went on when all of the sudden I heard, "With the Jelly Ghosts proclaim, Christ is born in Bethlehem!!!" Hahahahaha! I just wish I could see that picture in his head: the child Jesus with a bunch of "Jelly Ghosts" creeping around him. By the way, if you are not too familiar with the song, the real lyrics are, "with Angelic Hosts proclaim..."

The Things They Say (8)

Riding in the car Miss Belle wouldn't stop saying "no" to every little thing Peanut asked her. It was frustrating him. Finally I told him to just leave her alone and not ask her any more questions since all she would answer was no.

Peanut: "Mommy, how do we make her stop doing that?"
Me: "I don't really know. But just leave her alone for a while"
Peanut: "Maybe we could just cut her head off..."

*he got the cutting the head off idea from David and Goliath, not from his parents, just FYI


Peanut: "Mommy how do band-aids work?"
Me: LONG explanation about how band-aids work. Pressure, blood absorption etc.
Peanut: "Then why didn't Jesus get a band-aid when he was on the cross for us?"

This story was told by my mom:
Peanut: "What's the 'toy section'?"
My mom: Explains what the toy section is
Peanut: "Oh, yeah! Sometimes we go to Target and I ask my daddy if we can go in the toy section and he says, 'no not today'.
My mom: "And does your mommy ever take you to the toy section?"
Peanut: "Well...sometimes when my mommy says 'no, not today' I say, 'PLEEEEEASE can we go to the toy section?' and she says, 'Ok just for a minute!"

I guess he has us pretty figured out at a young age.

The Things They Say (7)

Peanut had a little school play and apparently during rehearsal he grabbed the microphone out of his teachers' hand and announced, "I'm spider man and I love Jesus!!!!"

Peanut has been making up words lately and one that has stuck is "panacas" (pronounced just like it's spelled). He started calling his rear his "panacas". Randomly the other night he told me, "Mommy, do you know why I made up the word panacas?" No... "Because I don't want to say the word butt because it's gross and that's where poop comes from." Ok then!

Peanut talking to Henry (our dog): "Henry, you always need to listen to mommy and daddy"
Me: "Thank you, peanut, but I'm not Henry's mommy. Henry can just call me Andrea"
Peanut: "Mommy, that's really silly. Dogs can't talk."

The Things They Say (6)

Me: Please stop flipping the light on and off.
Peanut: Why Mommy?
Me: Because it hurts and bugs my eyes
Peanut: Oh...A bug flies in your eye and hurts it mommy?

It's funny how literally kids take things. :)

Peanut was laying in bed drinking his cup of milk before nap time when he matter of factly told me:
"Mommy, I can't drink too much milk or I will puke"
Me: "Do you not want your milk then?"
Peanut: "NO, NO! The point is, mommy, I can't have too much."

Neither my husband nor I know where he learned the phrase "the point is", but apparently one of us says it.

Peanut came up to me this morning with diaper rash cream covering his entire face. When I asked him why he did that he responded, "Mommy, I needed it so I could look so so handsome!"

The Things They Say (5)

After explaining to Peanut how his friend got a baby brother I asked, "If mommy and daddy have a new baby, do you want a brother or a sister"
Peanut: "Hmmm...a baby brother AND a baby sister"
Me:  "Well if you just had to choose one would it be a brother or sister?"
Peanut: "Hmmm....GREEN!"
(When Peanut doesn't know the answer to questions he usually spits a random color out. Pretty cute and funny!)

Me: "Please don't step in the flower bed"
Peanut: "Ok..." (Long pensive pause) "Mama? Who sleeps in the flowers?!!?"

Peanut has recently entered the "Why, Mommy?" stage. It's just as lovely as everyone describes it...you would be amazed at how many of our conversations end in "Because that's how God created it". Not because I am using this as an out, but because I have seriously answered so many "Why?"s that it really is the only answer left. This evening I tried something different on our drive to Target:

Peanut: "Why do all the lights turn on, Mama?"
Me: "So you can see the signs when it gets dark"
Peanut: "But why, mama?"
Me (trying something new): "Well, why not?"
Peanut: "NO! You know how to answer me that question! Now behave!"

Geez...won't try that one again!

The Things They Say (4)

Peanut: Mama, hum ear I need show you sum-ping (mama, come here I need to show you something). I show you what me did.
Enter in the kitchen and see puke all over floor.
Me: What happened??!!? Did you puke?
Peanut: Yes. I eat dog food then I puke all over.

Peanut: "Can I go with you to play volleyball?"
Me: "No, not tonight"
Peanut: "Oh, why mommy?" (His new favorite question by the way)
Me: "Because you could get hit with the ball and get hurt"
Peanut: "Probably they need to say, 'are you ready to catch?'"

Me: "That dinosaur has a horn on it's head. Do you see it Peanut?"
Peanut: "Oh...Yeah...I can't hear it!"

After Henry (the dog) chewed up Peanut's ball:
Peanut: "NO HENRY! NO EATING BALLS! Woof! Woof-woof-woof woof! WOOF!"
(Who knew the kids spoke dog?)

The Things They Say (3)

Me: "Are you excited to go to Aubrey's house?"
Peanut: "Yes"
Me: "Is Aubrey your good friend?"
Peanut: "NO! Auby girl. Not friend. Auby girl!"

Peanut looking intently at a crucifix in church after confession, yells loudly, "JESUS WAKE UP!"

Peanut wanting out of his carseat: "Mom, buckle me out please!"

The Things They Say (2)

Grandma MiMi To Peanut: "What did you do today?"
Peanut: "I pooped on my hand."

Me to Peanut while he was pretending to be a priest: "Do you want to be a priest when you grow up?"
Peanut: "Noooo"
Me: "Why not?"
Peanut: "I only two"

Peanut: "You put Woo woo's hat on me?" (will you put woody's hat on for me?)
Mommy places Woody's hat on his head
Peanut: "GOOD GIRL!"

The Things They Say

My son is starting to say some pretty funny stuff. This will be a new part of my blog where I record those funny things. They may not be funny to you, but they are things I want to remember.

Miss Belle screaming in the car.
Me: "What happened"
Peanut: "I threw shoe her head"
Me: "You did?"
Peanut: "Yes, I need spanking"
Me: "Well, did you do it on purpose or accident?"
Peanut: "On purpose."
Me: "You really aren't helping yourself here kid..."

Trying to put Peanut down for a nap
Peanut: "I need poop"
Me: "Are you just saying that to get out of bed?"
Peanut: "Yes." (Lays back down)