Couldn't find one.
Do you know why? Because every single flippin' card I picked up said something like this..."Congratulations to you and your baby to be!" BABY TO BE?!?!?! What the!?!? What in the world, if not a baby, has been kicking my sister's ribs the last few weeks, causing her to pee every two seconds and probably occupying her every thought? A "baby to be" apparently. What does that even mean? Baby to be. It's a baby right now, Hallmark! She's just covered up by human skin in a little sack. Did you not take Biology 101? She has her own human DNA, a heartbeat, legs, arms, ten fingers and toes and everything else that physically constitutes us as human beings. Not "almost" human beings.
I must have looked like an idiot searching for cards. My other option was to get one that said, "Congratulations on the birth of your daughter!" The doula in me comes out. Tears start flowing. So one minute I'm picking up a card that makes me cry and the next I'm picking up one that makes me so frustrated I'm slamming it shut and angrily shoving it back in it's place. Surely I was the bipolar mother who just didn't get enough sleep to those around me. Maybe I should write a letter to Hallmark. Maybe it would start something like this:
Dear Hallmark,
Does this look like a "Baby to Be" to you?
LOL! I don't need any of those crappy cards anyway! Thanks for thinking of me so much Drea! <3 It's also REALLY nice of you to post it in your blog that you're not coming to my shower JUST to make it seem like you're really not coming so that the surprise is that much sweeter*!
ReplyDelete*Don't feel guilty, I'm only teasing! Having you as a doula is the very best gift I could ever get, I can't believe how comforting it is!