Thursday, August 5, 2010

My Second Conscious

There are many expectations I had when I found out I was a mother, but one aspect of motherhood I did not expect was how often my children bring me to my knees. I'm not talking about falling to my knees because of parental failings (which happen often I assure you), but more because my children convict me every single day. Especially these days.

Peanut has entered the "imitation" phase of childhood. You know, the one where he likes to copy everything I do and (at least attempt) to repeat everything I say?  Yeah, that one. Anyways, I found out he had entered this phase the other day after I had a kids movie playing on the television. An innocent children's movie that I put on while trying to get him to drink some pediasure. In one scene in this movie, a male character becomes angry and starts yelling and throwing his fist in the air. After I turned the film off, my 22 month old son went around for a good half hour yelling and throwing his fist up in the air. Wow. The other day I dropped something and let the S-H word slip from my lips and my son promptly said it right after me (this is the kid who says all of 4 words). Great. And then there was me yelling at my husband from our living room to bring me a diaper in a somewhat annoyed tone. Peanut, sitting right next to me, yells and points his finger in the direction of his father.

Having a two year old who imitates things is like having a spiritual mirror to look into every day. I no longer have to make a long examination of conscious before confession because my son is always reminding me of how I fail everyday when he imitates actions that are obviously not virtuous. When people tell you they are like little sponges, this is no exaggeration. I will no longer ever use the excuse,  "oh, it doesn't matter he is too young to understand" when watching a movie or listening to something I maybe shouldn't. Furthermore, this has me thinking, if I don't like Peanut to imitate this action, should I really be doing it or watching it in the first place? Society today has this crazy mentality that you have to be a certain age of "maturity" to sin. Take PG-13 movies for instance; all this is really saying is that society thinks that 13 is a decent age to introduce your kids to sex, violence and cussing. But should any of us really be watching these sort of things? 

I think everyone needs a little toddler to follow them around and imitate their every action. Surely people would act better. As for me, I will be forever grateful to my son for opening my eyes to the things I need to change about myself. This little tiny child makes me a better person everyday. Now that's humbling...


  1. You make some very valid points, especially about what age is "appropriate" to be introduced into sin!! I never thought of it that way before, but its very true. And wow do they ever understand, even at young ages!! This one of the reasons why we canceled cable and stopped watching tv.

  2. I just found your blog through "the mom". What a great couple you are, helping her clean puke out of her car and seving them dinner and drinks. Can you be my friend too? ;)

    Regarding this post, when my first born was around 2, it really started to hit me how much BETTER of a person he was than me. He was sweet, thoughtful, well-mannered, etc. All the good things we had taught him with none of the bad (yet). It was so sad to think how fast he would change as he got older and saw so much evil in the world. I love your reflections about Las Vegas - very true!

  3. Colleen, I'm so glad you found me! Welcome! And I agree, at this tender and innocent age, my son is a much better person than me. Hopefully it stays that way!

  4. This post reminded me of when Jacob was that age and we were in Mass & of course during the consecration, when it was completely silent, he dropped his hot wheel car & very clearly said (loudly) "O Sh#$!" I about died. I felt worse when I looked at Brian and he was pointing to me, as if it was my fault that our son knew that word - it was, but I felt aweful.

  5. I agree that we all need someone like that. I sure know that it would make me be a much better,kinder, person to my family, friends, and class mates.

    -Marie Lubitz
    I'm your niece bye the way it jsut dawned on me that you probably don't know who I am. lol