"When we are who we are called to be, we set the world ablaze" -St. Catherine of Sienna
I love this quote. It hangs on my refridgerator and I read it often. Usually I read it with a moment of awe, and then sadness comes sweeping over me. I am not who I am called to be. There are certain things, I feel, that keep me from being the woman God wants me to be. Attachments to worldy things I just can't seem to break away from. At the top of this very long list is:
Food: As Americans, I'm sure we all struggle with this one. But I happen to have an enormous sweet tooth. I can't even keep them in the house it's so bad. You've never seen a bag of Oreos disapear so fast in your life. The thing that bugs me most is when I walk into the kitchen, not hugry, and I hear God saying, "Give this one to me. Deny yourself and grow in temperance" and then I eat four cookies.
Movies: My husband and I love to watch movies. Unfortunately, over the years, we have collected some that are extremely violent and some with quite a bit of pre-marital sexual relationships in them. A lot of people say to let this one go, that it's just a movie. But if Christ were sitting on my couch, I would be ashamed for some of our movies to be playing on the television. I have gone to clean the movies out many times and every time, I just can't. I alway think, "I paid so much for this." or "This one is so funny!" Yeah, guess who's going to be laughing on judgement day. Not me. It's like some supernatural force (satin?) keeps me from taking the movies from the video stand to the trash.
Television: We don't have cable at our house, and by "don't have cable" I mean we don't have one single channel on our television. I do, however, own a few television series I really enjoy. I don't have too much guilt over watching these, except for the fact that my husband and I usually watch them in place of saying our daily prayers, or learning more about our faith. Someday, today actually, God will ask how I spent my time. I'd like to say I spent at least a little in prayer. I don't think saying, "watching The Office" is very pleasing to Him.
Computer: I love getting on the computer. I love checking facebook, reading blogs, and responding to e-mails. The thing is, I think I've gone overboard lately. It's become an addiction instead of a means for communication. I check my facebook every half hour and I feel like I'm neglecting my children when I get on the computer. Heck, who am I kidding, I am neglecting my children when I get on the computer. How can I be truly present to them, when I am reading or writing something else? (As a side note, I only blog when they are asleep, which is why sometimes my post are few and far between). What kind of example am I setting for them when every free second I get I spend it on the computer?
Obviously there is a lot for me to work on. I would really like to get to the root caust as to why I am attached to these things. I just feel very blessed to have a Heavenly Father that is patient, because otherwise I'm sure He would have given up on me a long time ago.
What are you attached to? How to you go about breaking free from these attachments? I would love some ideas!
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