Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Perfect Family?

Since the birth of Miss Belle, we have gotten many comments on how great it must be to have one boy and one girl. Apparently a family of four with children being of opposite gender is considered "the perfect family" to people in society today. Oh! And the fact that our boy is older than our girl? Well, that is just icing on the cake. Surely we don't want anymore, surely we are "done!"

I have been thoroughly amazed how many people in our politically correct society today think it is just fine to discuss and comment on my husband's and my love life and plans for children in the future. A couple of weeks ago we took the kids into my husband's work to show off the new addition. A man I never have met or been introduced to looks at our family and very bluntly states, "Ok you have a boy and a girl. You have two. You're done. No more now, you're done." Or the woman at mass who commented on how close our children were in age but then went on to say, "When I think of all the aborted babies out there, I'm happy to see a baby. But that doesn't mean you need to go and have another one in a year." Not to mention all the small grocery store comments about how we must have our hands full and how happy we must be that we got one of each sex. I knew people made comments like this before I even had kids, because I know quiet a few large families who get them all the time. But that's just it...they are LARGE families...not families with TWO kids (FYI I'm not saying these comments are appropriate for large families either, I just didn't expect to get any until at least three or four children were tailing behind me).

Why is it that everyone finds a baby to be the most joyous thing in the world and then tells you not to have anymore? Everyone smiles at babies, wants to hug, smell and kiss them all over. There is something about a tiny warm body curled against yours that brings a peace to the soul that is beyond this world, and yet society says two is the max. Two is enough joy, no more. This baffles me. Someday I'll find a good response to comments, I just assumed I had more time. But in case you are curious, here is our plan for the world to know: we take children as God gives them, not at our convenience. Maybe I could just type that up on a card and hand it out to people who think we should be "done".


  1. I think it's just like you said before- the devil wants to take us away from the best things God has to give, and the very best thing is new life! I actually kind of think it's cool you get the opportunity to challenge people's sad perceptions- it's almost like having people walk up to you and ask you about your faith. Then again, I think I'd be a lot more confrontational about it...maybe something like "Why wouldn't I want more just like Smelly Belley?" I miss her and your son.

  2. So, believe it or not (and I know you are likely to not because it's me we're talking about), but it actually doesn't bother me when people say that to me. Granted, my baby girl hasn't been born yet, many, many people have commented about how "perfect" it is that I'll have "one of each". Mostly I just smile and say thanks, but I really like when the few people say "that's a good place to start" because I know they understand what I'm going for here. But I also haven't had many negative comments one way or the other... yet.

  3. Keep being a testimony to the beauty of life. I've actually had people tell me, "Wow, all girls! I personally like boys better." Valentina was standing beside me and just stared at the person bewilderingly. She later asked, "What is wrong with us girls?" I love you Andrea. JMJ

  4. I get, "Are they all yours?" and you should just wait for the dirty looks you'll get when you're pregnant with #3, wow. Chris & Stacey O'Loughlin have 4 and they've been asked, "were all these planned?" Her response is always, yes (just not by us) & Chris has been asked at work when he's going to "get fixed" his response is, "Why? Everything's working great!" The Simon (Max knows them) family, when they announced one of their later pregnancies to the family they were told by their family, why again, why another baby, dont you know when/how to stop? (I think they had 8 total) They called all the kids out, had them all line up and then, in front of the kids, asked them; "Which one would you have liked us to 'stop' at?" They were speachless.
    God bless you & grant you as many babies as he knows you can handle, we are they clay and he is the potter.

  5. My wife and I were "done" after the birth of our second daughter thirteen years ago. Then 9 years later we were given a son. Two years later we were given another son by surprise. I thank the Lord each day for these gifts as our lives could never be the same without them... truly the best blessings we could have ever imagined. Thank you Lord...