Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Clean-Up on Aisle 12

It's Saturday morning and my husband and I decide to be cost efficient and buy all of our non-perishable items in bulk. This means a days outing to Sam's with a long list of shopping. As we walk through the aisles, my husband takes notice of a sample table with protein bars and grabs one for himself. Me, being the brilliant mother I am, think that my son might like a protein bar, and grab a piece for him from the nice man at the table. I hand it to him, and we are off to the soap aisle.

As I try to determine whether I should switch from Dawn to Palmolive for the convenience of buying it in bulk, I see my husband jump five feet back from the cart as if it were on fire. And then I hear a loud splash; puke everywhere. Apparently, I'm not too brilliant and you really shouldn't give a 17 month old a protein bar. At least not my 17 month old. My husband and I turn and look at each other, stand there for a few seconds in complete silence and then start laughing an "oh crap" kind of laugh. I send him off to the bathroom for some paper towels as I try to divert people from stepping in my son's mess. Sam's is a big store, and I have to divert a good number of people before I see my husband coming back. As he walks quickly towards me, with nothing in his hands, he yells, "their completely paperless in the bathrooms!" Darn green people. He then looks in our basket at the massive amount of toilet paper we have bought with a look like he has come up with some brilliant idea. I quickly shake my head. My husband then suggests I go find a bulk package of paper towels and we can just use them and then buy the whole package. Brilliant.

I leave the cart and smelly, puked filled aisle and begin my quest for paper towels. I must have a look of distress on my face, because a man stops and asks if I need help. I quickly state that I need some paper towels to clean the mess my son made in the soap aisle. He grabs his walky talky and announces, "CLEAN UP ON AISLE TWELVE!" Oh gosh, I'm that woman. The one with the puky kid maintenance has to come for. How did I get here? As I blush and thank him I hurry back to the cart. My husband and I decide he will grab the last few things while I take our son to the car to get cleaned up.

Almost every single person I pass gives me a funny look as I walk by them. I want to tell them, "Yes, I know how to carry my own child. But you try carrying a squirmy toddler with puke all over him with an eight and a half month pregnant belly! It's not easy!" To top off this already exciting day, I get to the parking lot and can't find the car. This is just icing on the cake. I walk extremely awkwardly with my son down three different rows, and climb into the safety and privacy of our car.

I'm sure there are many, many, many more moments like this in the very near future as our family continues to grow. I am just so thankful to have an awesome husband who laughs at them with me instead of freaking out and getting upset. Thank you husband, I love you! But next time, let's just get maintenance right away.


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  2. My son? Tantrum? Never! LOL!

  3. lol that's just too funny to read. Thanks for putting a smile on my face today, I really needed that; especially today.
    God bless you all, especially your little mess maker ;o)

  4. Haha, made me laugh out loud! I like the part where Max and you laugh! I remember when you puked all over the place at the fair, and dad just left it there! Gross!

    I thought from the title that the clean up was going to be because your son threw a tantrum or something, nice to know that that's not it!