Thursday, October 7, 2010

Liking and Loving

My great friend and I were blessed last weekend to have a weekday wherein our husbands were off work. It was a beautiful Friday morning, so we all decided to go to the Science Museum. I love going to museums on weekdays. There are no crowds to worry about and people to shuffle through. I don't shuffle gracefully with a double stroller. Anyways, as we moseyed around the museum we passed several rather large families. My friend commented to me, "They must be all homeschoolers because it's a weekday and they aren't at school." I thought about it for a minute and then agreed saying, "Yeah must be. I wonder why that is: homeschoolers and big families seem to go together most of  the time." Then my friend, in her brilliance, stated,  "I don't know, maybe because they actually like their kids and want to have more and spend time with them."


That statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't think most people like their kids these days. I didn't say they don't love their children; that they wouldn't jump in front of a car for them, I'm saying they don't like them. Now, please don't be insulted if you don't homeschool or have a lot of children. If you say you like your kids, I believe you, I just think you are a rarity.

I have been struggling with something lately. This whole concept of "mommy-time", or whatever you want to call it. It seems to be on everyone's lips, "I need time away", "I need time for myself" etc. I do understand that mothers need adult conversation and time out of the house to spend with friends away from their day to day tasks. What I think can be a problem is the attitude with which we do this. Are we really doing these things to enjoy the companionship of other women and bask in much needed adult conversation, or are we doing it to get away from our children? Do we really enjoy the company of our children, or are we just waiting for our husbands to walk in the door to "relieve" us of our duty? Are our children an inconvenience that takes us away from what we really want to be doing, or have we adjusted our attitudes so that raising our children is what we want to be doing?

I think the sacrifice of child-rearing is what keeps a lot of people from having more. Children do take time, money, a whole bunch of patience and self-giving, but what better thing to do than raise an immortal soul for all eternity? It's time for mother's to start doing what we were made to do. To pour ourselves into our families totally and completely. To start changing our attitude towards our children and enjoying their littleness. Sure, go out and have a drink with your friends every once and a while. But I hope you like your kids enough to miss them while you're gone.


  1. Amen! I like all these little people. That's w=one of the reasons I'm willing to have so many of them.

    The time away becomes more important as your children become older. It's not to avoid your children, but to recharge your batteries in order to have the energy for them.

  2. Awesome post! I like my children a lot. :) Avery cracks me up daily, and Lucy is sweet as she can be. However, I am not very good about stopping my day to just sit and play with them. It sounds so simple, but something that I definitely need to work on!

  3. I liked my kids an awful lot, but I knew that homeschooling wouldn't be the best route for them. They were all extremely social and needed to be with peers. Two of the three were also extremely stubborn (ahem, you know one of them) and wouldn't have been as accepting of lessons from their mom as they were from their teachers. So, liking them and loving them, I knew that public school was their best option. Also, living in a small town in Northern MN doesn't leave a lot of options for educational field trips as a large city does. Luckily, I was able to have all three of them come through my classroom, and because I taught in the same school they attended, I got to see them often during the day throughout their K-12 careers.

    As far as time away, I agree with "the Mom". As your kids get older, you definitely need time away to vent with other moms and to recharge your batteries to take on the daily struggles that come with tweens and teens.

    There isn't one way that is best for all children. The important part is being aware of what is best for your children and your family as they grow.

  4. Once again Andrea, a great post!! JMJ