Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Joy of Chocolate Chips

Per my sister's request, I thought I would stop in for an advent update. This stomach bug I have had for the past few days has made it incredibly easy not to eat sweets. In fact, it has made it incredibly easy not to eat anything at all. But the point of advent wasn't to starve myself, so I'll just stick with the sweets.

When I first started the no sugar road, I was in a very, very bad mood. I didn't realize how much eating sweets effected my mood. And I didn't realize how much denying myself would really piss me off. I was literally mad at times that I couldn't have that cookie. I pictured myself at the gates of heaven and Jesus saying something like, "You thought THAT was Joy? No, no....that was only all those chocolate chips you were eating." How sad it would have been had I gone without this advent fast and not realized how much true joy is lacking in my life. And how much sweets and other foods have a real grip on me.

I will admit I have fallen a very few times. What is different is my ability to pick myself up without being discouraged. In times past when I have fallen off the bandwagon, I have been so disappointed I just give up entirely. I think God has given me some very special graces this advent season. He sees me toddling as a little child, often stumbling, rushes to me, picks me up and says, "Don't be discouraged, child. Get up and continue this journey."